All I Could Do If I Didn't Love You
by Kygii
Summary: The boys break it to James that it's time for him to move on from Lily. Can he do it? Or will someone change his mind? A one shot fluff. R


A/N Just a cute little fluff I wrote for no particular reason :] R&R if you love me or the story!

* * *

I sat in one of the worn out armchairs in the Gryffindor Commons with my fellow Marauders, fuming. Just another typical day here at Hogwarts: going to classes, learning about magic, asking Lily Evans out, and getting rejected.

I shook my head. Why? Why is it every time I ask her out, no matter how well planned out, I always get a 'no'? You would think after the 135th time I asked her out she would give in. But no. That red head never gave in to the Potter charm.

Was there something wrong with me? I pulled out a mirror from my bag to see. I know what your thinking- no, I'm not that conceited. The mirror is for Defense Against the Dark Arts class, I promise. Sirius is the only one here who carries around a personal mirror.

With the mirror in my hand, I checked my appearance. Nothing seemed wrong, except for the mop that I call my hair. But would she really turn me down all those times just because of that? I quickly shook that idea out of my head. Lily wouldn't be that shallow, I was certain.

"Checking yourself out I see? Why don't you just let the fourth years do that for you?" Sirius smirked from behind a textbook.

"Sorry Padfoot, but I'm not as conceited as you. I'm just trying to figure something out." I replied as I put the mirror back.

Remus put down the textbook that previously held his attention. "James, please, for the sake of my sanity, please tell me this somehow doesn't involve Lily Evans?"

I fidgeted uncomfortably for a couple of seconds. Remus let out a sigh.

"What did she say this time Prongs?" Peter piped in.

I let out a low grumble. "Well, I tried the romantic tactic this time."

"Mate, do you want her to kill you?" Sirius interrupted.

I chose to ignore Sirius at the moment. "So while she walked alone to her text class, I managed to catch up to her, trying to make it seem like I wouldn't ask her out. After I had asked her a couple questions about Potions homework, I told her she had something in her hair. I reached to take it out, and took out a lily instead, not even using magic! Just for her, I did it the muggle way. Then I asked her out."

Remus sighed. "I wonder what her response was."

"To my astonishment, she turned me down! She turned red, almost the color of her hair, and asked if I owned a mirror."

"A mirror?" Peter asked.

I nodded. " Yeah, a mirror. I told her I did, and then she said I need to take the time to use it to fix all the mistakes on my face."

While I expected some sympathy from my friends, instead I received uncontrollable laughter.

"One point for Evans, zero for James!" Peter managed to squeak out between laughs.

" One point for Evans? More like 100 for Evans, zero for James!" Sirius remarked.

"Thanks you guys. I'm glad my friends will always be there with sympathy for me." I growled at them. After a few more minutes of laughter, they managed to obtain some self control and keep the laughter to a few chuckles.

"Evans certainly knows how to destroy your pride, Prongs." Sirius told me, grinning like a bobcat.

"I think she's been doing that since day one of Hogwarts." Remus added.

"I just don't understand!" I let out. "I've done everything a human can do, yet that never is good enough for her. I learn spells, I learn tricks; I even try the muggle techniques to win her heart. Nothing works."

Remus looked up, curiosity sparking in his eyes. "Wait- you've tried all of that just for Lily?"

"Yes." I glumly replied.

"James, how long did it take you to learn that muggle trick?" Remus asked.

"Three days perfecting it and one day searching in the library."

Remus shook his head. "Do you not see how much time you waste trying to win over Lily? Think of all the things you neglect because of your obsession to win her over." He paused for a moment, letting the information sink in.

"Moony, what are you trying to get at?" Peter spoke after a moment of silence, beating me to my question.

"I'm trying to get James to realize how much time he wastes attempting to woo Lily." Remus replied to Peter.

"But you've never been crazy for a girl like me and Sirius have. Right Sirius?" I turned to my best mate, hoping for some back up.

"Sorry mate, but I think Remus has a point here."

So much for my back up.

"There's a point where you have to give up and just admit there was a fish you never could catch." Sirus placed a hand on my shoulder for comfort.

My eyes look down at my shoes as I tried to understand what was going on. It was time to let Lily go?

Remus seemed to notice my internal predicament. "I'm just throwing it out there. Why don't you sleep on it? It's already pretty late. We should all get some rest."

I gave a small nod, and started to gather up my things. The other Marauders did the same, and soon we had all made our way to our room. As soon as I hit my pillow, I fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

"James, if you fall asleep again McGonagall is going to turn you into a cockroach." Sirius warned me as my eyes started to droop. Sirius seemed to be telling the truth; McGonagall glared daggers at the two of us.

"Thanks for the warning, mate." I mumbled to him. I really needed to do something to keep from falling asleep again. The idea of being a cockroach didn't seem that much fun.

But what could I do? I didn't feel like playing hangman with Sirius today. Hexing someone in the class remained an option, but McGonagall seemed to blame any mishap on Sirius or me these days. I could always take notes, but copying them from Moony would be easier. At the thought of Remus, his suggestion from last night reawakened, and along with it came an idea. I pulled out a piece of parchment and a pen, and started to write.

ALL THE THINGS I COULD DO IF I DIDN'T LOVE LILY EVANS

I could pay attention in class and not be mesmerized by her fiery red hair.

I would get more sleep- I wouldn't stay up all night thinking of her.

I would do my homework. Actually I wouldn't. Might as well cross this one out.

There would be more time for pranking with the Marauders. Imagine all the problems me and Sirius would get into with that extra time.

Dating other girls would be more fun, knowing that the girlfriend at the time wasn't some consolation prize.

With all the extra time I would get from not trying to woo Lily, I could figure out a way to help Moony on those bad days.

Sirius peeped at my parchment. "Taking what Remus said to heart?" I decided not to respond, and nodded. "Hey, I got something for number seven. . . . "

For the rest of the period Sirius and I wrote down all the things I could accomplish. By the end of the period, we reached number 28. Before we knew it, the rest of the Marauders got in on the idea. When the day reached its end, we managed to write down 86 things I could do.

Days passed, and soon most of Gryffindor knew about it. They nicknamed it 'Lily's List' and periodically helped me out on it. On the third day we had managed to write three feet of things I could if my heart didn't belong to Lily. Remus seemed exceptionally happy about this, and whenever Lily's List was brought out of my bag, he wore a smug smile.

I had a feeling that Remus thought this helped me get over Lily. Too bad for him, it did the opposite. Every time I wrote something down on it, I mentally found at least three things to counteract the idea. It made my heart hurt when I wrote something down on the List; It felt that I every time wrote something down it I insulted the girl of my dreams. Yet somehow, my logical side insisted I wrote something down every spare second I had. While I felt that nasty feeling for writing something down, I felt a sickening happy feeling for thinking of something that I could do if Lily wasn't in my way.

By two weeks, I, or all of Gryffindor, managed to write down 362 things I could do, some ranging from tap dancing to creating a spell to repress bodily functions. Somehow, I still felt head over heels for Gryffindor's favorite red head. In fact, I grew a little angry when someone came up with a new suggestion.

The next day during breakfast I finally snapped. I happily enjoyed eating some bacon when Sirius started shaking me, interrupting me from my favorite fattening breakfast dish. "What is it, Padfoot?" I asked crossly.

"I thought of another one!" Sirus grinned proudly. For some reason, that upset me beyond words.

"You know what? I'm sick of this!" I barked at Sirius, a little bit louder then I meant to.

"What, Prongs?" He asked, bewilderment on his face.

"Of this bloody list! I can't take it anymore." I spoke to him, the hall growing quiet at my outburst. I reached into my bag and pulled out the parchment paper, now five feet long.

"Prongs, what are you doing?" Sirius asked. I ignored him and dug down into my bag, looking for a quill. "Uh Prongs, I don't think you should pull that out now." I found a quill and then dug, again, for ink. "Prongs!"

"Not now Padfoot! I need to fix this bloody list." I growled at him, dipping the quill in the ink. My eyes searched for the top of the list, and I found the worn out heading.

ALL THE THINGS I COULD DO IF I DIDN'T LOVE LILY EVANS

I felt a shadow over me, and looked up. My previous emotions melted away, and my mouth hung agape. Right above me, stood a slender green eyed girl with fiery red hair- the girl of my dreams.

"Mind if I read this James?" Lily asked. The entire hall held its breath.

"If you want to, yeah." I managed to say.

With a small smile, she started to read the pages, skimming over as she flipped the pages. Sometimes she frowned, while other times she giggled. The earlier feelings of anger disappeared; just hearing her giggle cured all my emotions. When she reached the end, she rolled the parchment back up and gave it to me.

Inwardly, I prepared for a slap, a punch, or even worse, a knee to my family jewels.

"So that list was quite interesting to read." She told me, her face showing no emotion.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." I replied as I calculated if I could reach the entrance of the Hall before Lily managed to blast me to pieces.

"Apparently there is quite a lot of stuff you could do if you didn't love me." She said quietly, looking a little sad.

I just stared at her, not knowing what to say.

"But there's one thing you couldn't do if you didn't love me." She told me, looking me straight in my eyes. "Know what that is?"

I shook my head, not trusting my mouth to say anything.

"Let me show you." Lily smirked. Before my mind could process it all, she wrapped her arms around me, and gave me the kiss of my life.

Sirius and the rest of the Marauders cheered, and soon most of the Gryffindor table cheered for the bizarre turn of events. I delicately put my hands on her waist, not knowing what else to do.

In the middle of the applause, Lily broke away with a sly grin. "Is that better than learning how to tap dance?"

"Oh, so much better."


End file.
